Thursday, August 5, 2010

MADAME'S JAE'S: Reporting "undercover"


Good evening, I am – or was – Keith Duffy. I mean seem like a normal 17- year old but you probably know my dad Larry Duffy (43) – the crack investigative reporter for Channel 10 Action News. Well, in an other overt attempt to put sordid stuff on TV to draw ratings, Dad’s producer wanted him to look into an expose on the Madame Jaw’s Salon. My heart skipped a beat – I secretly always wanted to a pretty teen girl – Kayla, who had awesome hair, wardrobe, and guys salivating about her.

For some reason, Dad got a couple of generic cocktail dresses, some blonde wigs, and was fiddling with makeup.

“I have to dress like a tranny in order to sneak in son,” Dad said sheepishly.

“Dad – I know all about Madame Jae’s, so I think you should have me come along to help you with your cover. Lots of fathers and sons go everyday for makeovers and to have some fun. What do you say – Mom?”

Dad wanted to say no, but by then I was already in a dress and in Kayla mode. I wasn’t going to let this chance go!

I had alerted the staff at Jae’s that we were coming and they rolled out the big guns for us. Full body hair removal, realistic body shapers, voice modulators, hair extensions, gorgeous clothes – the works. Dad realized looking at him-herself in the mirror that the station would never believe that a male reporter and his son could really look this hot as girls. We made a plan to visit the station manager, who couldn’t take his eyes of my new mother.

That week, it was announced that Larry took a position with a TV affiliate on the coast, and that we had moved. That week, their new ace reporter Lynda Dean made her debut. Ratings spiked as internet geeks everywhere declared Lynda the newest Über news babe.

To celebrate, Mom and I partied at Saturday’s J-Club bash in our fiercest party dresses. My dream of being chased by studly guys was coming true. Wait til Mom finds a guy to go out with! What a story THAT will be!

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