Thursday, May 27, 2010

ANNIE'S CAPS - The "Talk"

“THE TALK” starring JUDY (38) & TARA (17)

JUDY: You look concerned kiddo. It’s a gorgeous day and you seem stressed. What’s wrong dear?

TARA: I… I don’t want to talk about it Mom I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m fine – really…

JUDY: Sorry sweetie. I’m a parent – it’s my job to worry. Spill the beans, honey. What’s the problem?

TARA: (sigh) OK… I was thinking about… you know, I was thinking about Charlie, and… umm…

JUDY: I bet you were- he’s cute. And?

TARA: His umm… pants and his… oh geez (blushing)

JUDY: By his pants, do you mean his penis, Tara?

TARA: (whispering) MOTHER! Are you crazy?

JUDY: Honey, it’s OK, you’re becoming a woman. Well, technically, we both are, simultaneously.

TARA: That’s just it… six months we both got the OK to start RLT and moved here from Kansas. Nobody knew our past life as father and son! And we won’t be able to go under the knife for at least another 18 months! How can I even think of.. THAT… and yet, I can’t stop thinking about his… and mine… (sniff) It’s still there!

JUDY: Tara, it’s OK. We’re both starting our hormone regimen, and you’re the not only one with some very unusual thoughts. Our Mr. Happy’s are becoming Little Miss Happy’s and they are as confused as we are. Trust me – it’s going to be fine. Come closer, and we’ll have our first official mother/daughter “talk”…


TARA: So you think the postman is cute? That's funny Mom! (laughs)

JUDY: Well, I was a UPS driver in my past life, so I have a natural affinity for ummm “package delivery” (cackles).

TARA: OMG too funny! So do you fantasize about you and him…

JUDY: Having sex? Maybe. I think about how wonderful it would be to be with a good man. Tara, my dream is to be a beautiful bride someday. And to watch you grow up and do the same one day.

TARA: Aww, Mom, that’s so sweet. I see myself as a wife as well – but not until after I graduate from college!

JUDY: Good girl! And I want to build back our finances after paying for our SRS and the new identities. It cost a lot to “retire” Jack Winslow and his son Trent. Now that the bank hired me as a service rep, I can save some money, and then go “husband shopping!”

TARA: We are going to be such babes. What man will be able to resist us? You should totally seduce the mail man!

JUDY: Haha, sweetheart, our dreams will come true, and one day we will find our Prince Charmings! There’s a lot of fish in the sea, Tara– so keep your eyes peeled!

5 years later,

Tara married her college sweetheart – on the second anniversary of Judy’s wedding.

Judy did end up dating the mailman, but she married her manager at the bank!


No comments: