What would you do to save your father's life - and your own?
A Story by Annabelle Raven
“Listen to me… MOTHER. That’s right, I said mother, because that’s what you are. My father, Manuel Estefan Garza Cárdenas, died in prison. That is to say his male life died there. Because of the pact we made when you got out of prison and found me, as your son Alex, depressed and suicidal from my birth mother’s death from being a meth addict. I was headed down a bad path, and you had been in one your whole life. I remember telling you that I wanted to be with Mom in heaven, and I hated you for leaving us. But we needed each other to survive,” Alicia said while choking on her own sobs.
Maria softly cried, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Alicia hushed her, and continued.
“Let me finish. Then I told you, that I was a girl, a girl inside. I hated my dick; I hated the hair that was growing on my chin. Then you told me how horrible it was for you to be raped in prison and how you didn’t want to see me become a drag whore, and I told you in no uncertain terms that I was going to be a REAL WOMAN, and that if you were going to be in my life, that maybe you should think about accepting your girlish eyes, lips, and butt, put on a dress, and take a shot at really being a woman, because I just lost my mommy and I needed a new one. And you know what? YOU DID IT! You have been nothing short of incredible, MOTHER! We did everything together that we never did as father and son. Shopping, makeup, learning to cook, learning to dress, walking in heels. The courage to go to Dr. Valdez and admit our transsexuality. The courage to adapt new identities, go through RLT and taking those hormones. All the while, you have been a great role model for me as a young woman.”
Nearly ready to collapse in emotion, Alicia said to Maria, “Now you have a boyfriend who treats you like a real woman, making love to you. You can’t be scared now, mama! I love you and I’m going to hold you to our deal.” Finally, Alicia succumbed to bawling.
“Now it’s my turn, Alicia Josefina,” Maria gasped as she regained her breath to comfort her child. “You talk about me being your role model as a woman. Well, baby, you’re MY role model. When I was away all that time as your dad, I was a fool not to have gotten to know you. Like so many, I let my male arrogance and prison yard cajones make choices for me. I… I could have gone to Melina (Alejandro’s birth mother) before she got lost in her addiction. I realize now, baby, that I was overcompensating for being a runt, a boy who should have been a girl, by being a bad ass barrio cabron. A real bastard. All of this time, Maria was inside of me, but it was hearing your pain, and your plea to be a woman, that woke me up.”
Now mother took daughter’s crying face in her hands. “If I don’t follow you into dresses and bras and boobies, then I am a dead man. In fact, you’re right – Manny did die when Maria was allowed to live. And you were always Alicia but for fifteen years you had to pretend to be Alejandro.”
Maria caught her breath and continued, “Being your mother has been the biggest joy. I watched your body change as mine did, but I also watched you blossom as a confident young teenage girl. A great student, active in student activities, so many friends, and of course – Antonio. Your boyfriend is quite the catch, mi corazón. I hate to say it but when I saw you two one day kissing and him holding you, I think I was a little jealous of you. Because even though I just went through a girl’s puberty like you did, I never dated or made out with a hunky boy in school.”
Alicia chortled some giggles and said in her soft voice, “We’ll I’m being a good girl and keeping my virtue until I’m ready. Mama… I’ve decided that I want to make love to Tony the night of the prom, right after my 18th birthday. I love him so much, and he is devoted to me.”
“Yes he is, and I can see the love in both your eyes, honey, and… Alicia I wasn’t being completely honest with you. Today I didn’t have to make up the story of being on the rag with Miguel. He knows I’m a pre-op transsexual. He says he loves me because to him I’m a beautiful woman and he wants me to be a complete woman, but today… today we got together, and we were both so horny… Alicia today made me his loving woman, his mamacita.”
Maria paused and cried again, and her daughter cried along with her, as they hugged and stroked each other’s hair. Maria then added, “Baby, he’s going to pay for my operation once Dr. Valdez signs off on me, and since I handle all of his finances, I know he has enough money to pay for yours too, I’ll tell him that you just need some minor surgery instead of telling him his step-daughter needs SRS too.”
“Mama – no, you and I will go to Dr. Mike – I guess I better start getting used to calling him Daddy – and we’ll tell him the whole story. You’re right, mom, honesty is the best policy, so… I think I’m going to tell Tony too. He deserves to know.”
“I love you, Alicia, thank you for everything you have given me. We’re a couple of beautiful Chicanas in love and we’re going to have it all!” Once again, mom and daughter hugged.
January: Alicia and Maria Garza, having told the whole story to Miguel Estrada , had their SRS together. Tony Torres came to the hospital to be with his girlfriend.
February: Miguel proposed marriage to Maria on Valentine’s Day, the first night they had true intercourse. They’ll be married in August. Alicia will be her maid of honor.
June: A momentous month for Alicia and Tony. They graduated at the top of their high school class. Ali won a college scholarship, Tony was drafted by the Angels, and the couple celebrated their love after the Senior Prom with a passionate night they’d never forget.